Thursday, March 3, 2011

Busy Day!

Today we crammed in all the fiddly appointments before the actual IVF protocol appointments. We did the "consent visit" where we sign things saying we consent to IVF, ICSI, etc, and what we want done with any extra embryos. Plus get new questions answered. Like, since I'm still nursing my first child, will that interfere? (No.) Can I go to my niece's birthday party the day after (projected) egg-transfer? (Yes.)
We also got his semen analysis results. Everything but shape was at or above "normal." Shape was around 10% below, so they still recommend ICSI. Then we sat around for an hour until my OH/Sounding appointment. It was kind of exciting. OH stands for Office Hysteroscopy, which they didn't do my first time around. They just did a "practice run" or SHG. My doctor did that too, this time, but I wasn't even aware she had done it. I thought she was still swabbing me with iodine. Then the hysteroscopy! I got to see my cervix opening (looks like a sphincter!) and inside my uterus. It looks like some strange peachy-fleshed sea creature. With the occasional red floaty bit. And lots of bubbles, but she said she caused that with whatever she was doing. I got to see the little dots that were where my fallopian tubes let out into the uterus as well. OoOoOoh!
It was very uncomfortable. VERY. Not as bad as the HSG or the uteran biopsy, which hurt so bad I couldn't even speak. This was like... really REALLY bad cramps, in a spot you don't normally feel. But I made sure to talk throughout, so I wouldn't have a vaso-vagal reaction again and get dizzy/sweaty/nauseous. So I just said whatever came into my head, and then explained why I was jabbering, so the doctor and the nurse went along with it. :)
Then my husband, who had been watching our daughter (my mom watched her for our consent visit, but then she had other plans during our other stuff,) took us to a nearby mall for lunch and play area time. And cupcakes! Then back to the clinic for the injection training course, which I wanted to do again, since it's been over 3 years since I last did this. Princess fell asleep in the car, and napped the whole time. So my husband didn't get to review the shot that he gets to do, but that's probably for the best. Apparently he can see a video tutorial online, plus the other couples wouldn't have appreciated having her there. And toddlers plus needles aren't exactly a recipe for success!
It was a tough call, whether to let the other couples know that I had done this before. On the one hand, it might be heartening to meet someone that this procedure had worked with. On the other hand, I loathed anyone fortunate enough to have kids when I was going through this, and knowing that OTHER people could have kids had no bearing on MY ability to have them!
In the end, they figured it out, since the nurse and I exchanged some questions and answers that kind of gave it away. Last time, I did AM and PM injections for 3-4 weeks. This time it's only PM injections for less than 10 days, which kind of came as a shock to me. Plus I was familiar with the needles and bottles and what to do, and was often doing them before the nurse showed us. One lady asked for my email, so she could ask questions, which I was happy to do. Some people want someone to talk to and bounce questions/worries/fears off of, and some don't. I know that's what a lot of IF bloggers are really doing. Using this forum as a way to talk this out with other people going through the same things. I didn't really want/need that the first time. I'm more of a loner. I'm happy talking my problems through with my husband, or occasionally the pharmacist I worked with at the time, if I had medical-related questions. But this time I'm being much more open about the fact that we're even doing this (it's hard to hide things on Facebook!) and past pregnancy success makes a potential future failure much easier to face. It would still be heart-wrenching. But at the end, I still have this wonderful little person who makes my life complete. I just have room for more completeness! So if I can be someone this woman can share her fears with, and maybe reassure a little, I'm happy to. Her husband seemed either uncomfortable and covering it with humor, or just kind of insensitive, or non-supportive or something. I could tell that she was very invested emotionally in this process and wanting a child, but I felt he was just kind of going along for the ride. The other couple at the training session seemed very well educated, and grasped things fairly quickly.
I was mostly feeling ill at the thought of handling all those needles!