In Utero InCelebration?

After the Clomid and the cysts (or not cysts. He told me anything larger than 5mm (I think) was called a cyst, even if it wasn't harmful) we tried Femara, which also got no results (ie: pregnancies.) But also no cysts. So, a wash.
At some point in 2006, but I think near April and my polypectomy, we did a semen analysis, and his count was good. So yay for him. But still no answers as to why we were having problems.

2007:
March/early April: The fertility specialists he sent me to had an office across the street from his office, which was a huge selling point for me. I also opted not to shop around because of the hefty $200 consultation fee, not covered by insurance, even if you have infertility coverage (which my insurance was covering!) During our initial consult, he said that I could do most of the stuff at that office, rather than either of their other two offices, and that he didn't think we'd need to do an IUI. He wanted us to just come in for an ultrasound to ensure I was ovulating, then do an hCG shot, and try and conceive the regular way (on a carefully timed schedule!)
So imagine our surprise/consternation/frustration/confusion when we come in for our ultrasound and the doctor there that day wants to schedule us for an IUI. Us: "But the other doctor said we weren't going to do one." Him: "We always do them after this kind of ultrasound." Us: "But..." So we scheduled it. At worst, it would work, right? Only a couple hundred bucks, to increase our chances of conceiving that month, rather than dicking around for a while (21 months,) like I did with the ARNP and then the OB/Gyn.
But it shook my confidence a little. Either the first doctor never put in my chart that he didn't think we needed to do an IUI our first round, or else the second doctor didn't even look. Neither option inspires confidence, now does it?
So. On the assigned night, I get my first shot. Not administered by a trained health professional. I have a severe needle phobia. I get dizzy and cold-sweaty and lightheaded and nauseous. (Apparently, this is called a vaso-vagal reaction.) So I think I had him mix the water and the powder and draw up the dose. And administer it. But I may very well have done it myself. I don't recall.
The next morning (Easter Sunday!), my husband gets up early and does his thing. Or... tries. He calls me from his special room at the clinic to express his frustration. I got to sleep in, since they didn't need me until later. I get there a little early, to help him out, just to discover that he had managed to complete his task, and had left already. Yay team! I'm sure I got some bloodwork taken, and then off to the races!
I've never been so excited to take a pregnancy test. This had to be it! We'd finally broken down and paid for an expensive medical procedure (covered at 90%, since they were a preferred provider! But only the parts involving me. My husband had a different insurance plan through  his employer, so my insurance didn't cover anything having to do with his "contribution.") I think our out-of-pocket for this procedure was around $200 or less after insurance. But it was an actual official infertility procedure. Not just a test, or a drug-and-a-prayer.
Nope. So we talked to the doctor, and he suggested giving it at least 3 more tries.

Early and Mid-May: So we try, try again. At this point, I'd been in for various ultrasounds to check that my eggs were forming; bloodwork, to check hormone levels; and whatever else needed to be done. Oh yes. And remember how pleased I was that I'd be able to do most of this at the location near my home? Bzzzt! Wrong! All the major procedures are done at one location. The others are mostly for consults and the occasional ultrasound. And it's kind of based on whether one of the three doctors is at that location on any given day, and whether they have an opening that fits with my work schedule. I had to get pissy at them before they agreed to take my blood at the nearby location. They didn't like doing that, since the hospital has restrictions that offices on their premises must use the hospital's contracted labs, rather than being able to do their own testing. Tough nuts people. The other locations are 30 minutes away from me. Each way. As much fun as it is, fighting the worst traffic in the Seattle area for a 30-minute (in light traffic) drive, just to get a blood draw, is not how I like to spend my time.
Our second IUI was also a fail. But as an added bonus, my husband, who had been getting killer headaches all year, had gone in for an MRI right around the same time as our IUI. And they found an aneurysm. And wanted to operate. Like, now. So he goes in for brain surgery.
You read that right. Brain. Surgery. How scary is that? On day 3 after his surgery, while he's recuperating in the same area housing post-stroke patients, and suicidal and other mentally unstable patients, I go off to meet with my doctor to talk about doing more IUIs. On my birthday.
I basically ask him if doing more IUIs will increase my chances. Does doing them regulate my body or make it in some way more likely to get pregnant? Apparently not. Your chances decrease with each attempt. So. Bollox that then. I tell him we're done pussyfooting around. What's the next step? In-Vitro.